stream of consciousness

I'm home, alone, and a bit drunk. I'm horny as hell, but too tired to hook up.

I hate being horny. Sometimes I think I'm a woman: my horniness seems to come in cycles, about once every month or two, and lasts about a week (or two). It's really distracting and makes be very unproductive at work etc, which sucks (And not in the good way!).

That's why sometimes my blog goes really quiet and I write apologetic posts making up some excuse why I haven't sucked any cock.... it's actually cos I haven't been horny. Ah well.

I often wonder what it is about sucking cock that I enjoy so much. On one level, I don't understand it and it doesn't make any sense at all. It's pretty degrading and slutty to want to suck cock all the time. An animal instinct kicks in. I love to worship big cocks and swallow cum... it's like i'm swallowing a guy's masculinity, eating his man-ness, getting pleasure out of what he wants to spurt out of him to reproduce. Guys around my age and a bit older are the hottest, especially if they have big cut cocks. I love to worship their manhood and use my mouth as best as I can to get them off. I really love it when they hold my head onto their cock as I blow... it's like they're trying to fill me with their hot warm sperm.... some strange evolutionary, sub-conscious thing.

I also love middle eastern and arab guys. I don't know why. They just really do it for me. I think it's a combination factors. Most are hot, and hairy, and very masculine, which I love. Most have big cocks,and if they're Muslim (or Jewish, but I prefer Muslim... the cum tastes better) they have cut cocks. I know both religions really hate gays (what religion doesn't?). But i love anonymous sex with middle eastern guys.. eating and swallowing their cum so they can get off. No strings. Nothing else. Just them getting off in my mouth.

I wish I'd gone to the sauna tonight, but now it's too late to bother. The night before last was hot. When the hot wog dude told be to suck the leb guy, it was a massive turn on all of a sudden. He asked me to eat the other guy's cum. I wasn't gonna play with the other guy, but there was something about being asked (Well, told) to do it that really got me horny. I know, I'm a slut. I don't like being slutty. But fuck, it turns me on. It his the spot. It's an animal instinct.

I'm visiting a few different cities soon. I"ve already got about 50 guys lined up to suck off. So much for sight-seeing! I really hope I get a chance to live out my ultimate fantasy... which I still haven't done. I want a guy to have a house party, with a few hot guys over, and I"m there. I get drunk, chat to the guys, relax a bit. After a while, I'm told to get naked and go into a bedroom. I sniff some poppers. The guys take turns to come in- ... sometimes a few at once... to unload in my mouth. I swallow.

Do all gay guys like the taste of cum? I met a guy once that hated cum. I just couldn't understand it. Cum is the best part of gay sex. Sometimes I suck cock just to taste the cum and eat it. I don't know why. It doesn't make sense.

If any of my readers (and thanks guys, it looks like i've got quite a few now) are hot and hung and horny (and not decrepit/old/deformed cock/indian/asian/disgusting) and want to host a party, let me know. I coudl even come over later in the night, just to suck guys off. I'm actually pretty fussy.. i only suck clean and hiv-negative guys (derrrr) and I like big cocks. It has to be at least 7 inches, preferably 8 plus, and a decent thickness and not some weird shape etc.

This post is getting long. But I have nothing better to do. No-one has bought me poppers yet :( I hate it how they run out after a few weeks, and you're left with a bottle mostly full of stuff, but no strength. I've combined a few bottles together so I have one that's almost strong enough to give me a small high... but I really need a fresh bottle.

I love it when guys in saunas offer me some to sniff while I suck their big cut cocks. It's almost as good as when they cum on my face.

I want to go to a sauna in germany. I've heard theyre VERY good. I've only been to one, once. It was amazing. I sucked so many hot guys. At that time, I only really liked cut cock, and didn't particuarly go for uncut guys. In Europe everyone is uncut, pretty much. But the place was so hot and the guys were hot and hung, that I was sucking uncut cock all night. It was great.

I love sucking cock in steam rooms. There's just something about it.... it's (literally) hot, its hard to see anyone perfectly, and if I suck a hot guy there's an audience. The audience isn't always hot or hung, but I still love it when guys watch me suck cock.